Pressures

I keep pressuring myself to get educated on other people's fails at high school,

so I don't make any of the same mistakes. It is kind of ridiculous though, since by making mistakes I can learn and grow. Without making any mistakes, I am not growing. Am I ? I reading all of these articles and books about adults looking back on their high school experiences and realizing their mistakes and faults. Before, entering into high school, I want to learn some of the things teenagers often run into while in high school. Yes, I do know that I examine this way too closely, but you must understand that I don't want to use up my four years and have regrets. I have recently been reading an interesting book about a high school senior who makes a wish and is able to talk to her freshman self. Magically, she is able to talk to her freshman self and convince her younger self to switch around her life. The senior starts seeing slight improvements in her life as the freshman starts making changes. The senior had spent the whole three and half years not paying serious attention to school,but only to her boyfriend that dumped her before prom. Without him she suddenly is lost and realizes that she is going to a horrible college. Without the blindness of love, she is suddenly aware of where her life is going. Even though I am nothing like the character in this book,I don't want to make the same mistakes that she had regretted at the end of high school. Of course, that would never happen because I am so focused about school work. Even though I like love, I would never give up for someone. I suppose that is harsh, but think about it. If suddenly meet a handsome guy that swept me off my feet and I was blinded by pure bliss, I wouldn't just throw my books over my shoulder without a second glance. I am serious about school and getting into a good college. I push myself and needlessly fret about stuff that is going to happen in the future. When I am crashed on the couch frying my brain cells, I have this looming cloud over my head reminding me of things I have to do. I put this huge pressure on essays and reports, because I think that if I don't get a perfect paper I won't get into a good college. My life will end up nowhere. Nowhere...... the word drifts through my head making myself turn into this person that is constantly worried. Instead of taking care of these things, I procrastinate and wait hoping and wishing that somehow they will magically go away. Instead of having the luxury of spending two weeks working on papers, I spend the very last second scribbling away. Sometimes, I get a B and sometimes I can get an A. I guess I don't stop procrastinating because somehow things turn out. I want enter into high school a free-spirited and worry-free young woman. Perhaps, things won't turn out exactly as planned, but that is the fun of it. Nothing is the end of the world.
If I don't get an A, I dust myself off and try again. Life will move on and before I know it
the past will be a blur. It won't matter if I got a B on my History test nor will it matter if
the cute guy in my driver's ed will notice me, because throughout all of crazy things
that I face in the coming years it will help me become who I will be.