Your Actions Can Play a HUGE Role in Your Life

What if you were peer pressured to do everything in your life? What if you couldn't think for yourself and you had to follow the options and thoughts of everyone around you? Sure, you love everyone around you which is probably the reason you surround yourself with those particular people, but if you couldn't make your own decisions about anything EVER what do you think would happen to you? Well you wouldn't be a very interesting person. Most teenagers and kids nowadays feel peer pressured to do most things in their life, but eventually those kids grow out of what is happening to them now and they decide some point in life that they are going to make their own decisions and be independent. Of course, I am still a whacked out teenager, but things that have happened to me and probably will happen in my life have made me think more carefully about the things I do and how my actions can affect other people around me. Sure, I am a negative person who is just as whacked out as any other teenager out there, but I don't want to be peer pressured as much as any other kid out there. I try everyday of my life to not follow the crowd and actually be an individual. I used to be basically in love with this guy, but he didn't know it and I thought the world revolved around him. Looking back at myself I was stupid, but again I was just being myself and a teenager. I am so glad that after spending half of my high school year cooing over him that I found out who and what he truly was. Which like most teenage guys out there a cheese head. He was a jerk and yet after all of the time I spent thinking that I was in love with him and basically watching his every move I only found out who he truly was by my friend. My friend although not one of my good friends, pointed out something really important to me that I had come to overlook in this guy because somehow I had already made up my mind that he was perfect. Alright, so I have been watching all of these movies about teenagers getting pregnant and having children. Of course, I am not pregnant nor will I probably ever be in my teenage years, but it got me to think about all of the kids out there that are peer pressured into having sex and then getting pregnant. I just want to talk about this issue today because more and more younger children are engaging in sexual activities and the world and adults choose to turn their backs and pretend that nothing is happening. Of course, it is a little awkward discussing this with you and although you may not see me as your friend I am and you can confide in me. You, whoever is reading this, I don't care who you are but you are my friend and I want you to trust me. You don't need sex or some stupid guy that only wants sex in your life. You want to be independent, you want to be a individual and recognized? Do something meaningful with your life and don't throw it away over just some guy. Sure, you may be "in love" with him and think that having sex is the only way to show how much you care about this guy, but trust me you don't need to have sex in order to prove to him, yourself, or the whole world that you are in love. Just being around him and in love can prove to him and yourself that you are in love with him as well as the whole world. If this guy only wants to stay with you because he thinks that he is going to have sex with you someday, do the smart thing and break up with him! It is better than giving in to some guy and having sex then having a baby and he leaving you. Okay, you may be careful about what you doing and think why should I listen to some whacked out teenager online? She is just like me and has feelings too and how don't I know that she is having sex after she is done writing this entry? Let me tell you first off I am not even dating someone, but not only that I don't want to have sex yet. I know that I am not ready to take such a big step in a different life and I know that I am not like that. Even if you think you are being careful and taking the necessary  precautions you could very well get pregnant. Do you understand how much that could change your life? Oh hang on guys it could change your lives too not just the girls. If you do decide to stick around you guys then you have HUGE responsibilities to think of. If you are thinking of," Well, I have big responsibilities now taking care of my sick puppy." or whatever you can think of.  Two words. THINK AGAIN. First off, you would have to stay with the mother no matter even if you realize down the road that you don't truly love her. You still have to stay with her no matter what. Not only that your life will get insane. So many options, abortion, having the baby, adoption, keeping the baby. Everything will be changed forever. I just think I wanted to write something about this after seeing the film Mom at Sixteen. Not only are movies and T.V. shows a big part of what teenagers, kids, and people do today and I think that we need to put down the T.V. remote and realize that we need to think for ourselves instead of following the lead of other people whether they be your best friends, role models, or just people on T.V. You need to think about what your actions could bring before you act. Well, on that note I hope you will start to think differently about what you do in your life. Good luck and please remember that I am always here for you. Just one key stroke away. :) 

WHAT ARE YOU DOING READING THE TITLE.... READ THE POST DUMBY!!!

Hello,
So, it seems like I haven't kept to my promise about entering in something for you to read every week. Oh, well. What are you going to do? Anyway, I haven't really been up to much lately. I went back to my hometown to stay with my dad and cousin. So, I was on the road again for awhile last week. It seemed like I didn't have control over my whole life so I decided to prove to myself that I could be independent by doing something that I could do for myself and prove to myself that I am in control of me. So, I have always wanted to be skinny than the weight I am. Which is none of your bussiness by the way. Never ask a lady what her weight is. Didn't your parents teach you any manners. Anyway, back to the subject at hand so, I decided to go on diet. I have always hated running or any sort of physical activity so, I decided that going on a diet would be the best solution. So, I looked over the book and thought, "Hey, this can't be that hard. All I have to do is eat and not eat anything that I am not supposed to eat." WRONG! Okay, so yes it is basically what I said above, but when your dad bakes muffins and all of this really delicious food what are you supposed to do? I am not a quiter and will NOT give in to temptations, but I couldn't help thinking while sitting on the couch watching America's Got Talent listening to every sound and crunch of the squeezy, gooey Cinnamon rolls that maybe just maybe I was missing something really good that could have been mine in seconds. Then I look through Teen Vogue and Seventeen and realize that I want to be one of those skinny, glamourous girls smiling in the photos. So, yes I would NEVER be part of the crowd and would never want to be skinny just because everyone else was or just because I wanted to look somewhat like some of the girls that wander the halls of my high school with their arms wrapped around some cheesehead guy drooling over them. NEVER! So, yes reading back over that I sound a wee bit childish, but really I don't want to be those idiot girls. Honestly, if we are speaking honestly here. Seriously if you are one of those girls reading this right now it is STILL a free country you are more than welcome to leave. Hey, you were more than welcome to leave three paragraphs ago. So, honestly speaking I don't even think those girls want to be where they are right. Being a girl myself I think that no girl would ever reach that ultimate low and just be arm candy for some dumb guy. And no I am not a "guy hater" I am actually quite the sucker for love. I do watch romantic movies and hope to myself that someday some magical guy will come around and just be there for me watching my favorite movies over and over again. Then, reality hits and I realize that that guy doesn't exist in this realm and probably never will so, move on and just write out all of your feelings in this mindless blog that no one even reads. Sure hey I don't ask for people to read this, but honestly it gives me some sort of comfort knowing that people are actually reading this and knowing that some whacked out teenage girl who has nothing better to do than write weird junk in a blog is out there. So for you guys that are turned on by someone independent free spirted and must I admit beautiful whacked out girl yes, I am here. Hahha.. Wow.... I actually wrote hahah to myself or whoever you are. And no I am not telling you where I am right now and what color my shirt is that I am wearing. Okay, back to the subject at hand well actually is there ever really a subject I discuss in this blog? No, not really... Maybe I should... No, scratch that I would actually have to think before writing in here. Hmm.... well did I have ever tell you why I don't want to drive? Okay, well before you judge I actually I am a good driver and I don't run over anything unless you are some freaking dude on the side of road. Just kidding. Maybe... Anyway, I don't want to drive because probably somewhere deep inside me I feel like I could be responsible for whatever happened out there. Okay, so honestly I don't think I would probably crash my car and kill myself and whoever is with me, but I am scared that maybe I could. I am working on not being so scared anymore. Yes, I know it is hard to believe, but yes even I am scared of a lot of things. I don't know why, what is seriously the worst that could happen? Oh, besides dying and lossing everything. Well, the reason I won't drive still remains a mystery, because come closer I am going to tell you a secret.....I DON'T EVEN KNOW!!! Yes, it is true even the great and fantastic whacked out teenager ( Maybe I should rename my blog that) doesn't even know the answer that question. Oh, well guess it will remain one of life's biggest mysteries that and where Big Foot is. Hahah. Nope, I can't be serious. Don't hate, Don't do drugs, Don't smoke, of course drink when life sucks, but DO LOVE! Hahha, just kidding about that drinking one please don't drink if you are under..........99. For those of you under 99 don't do it!!! I warn you all if you do it I will find you!!! Hhaha. Just live life, you only die once. Unless... you are a cat, dog, zombie, vampire, or anything other sort of weird supernatural thing out there and beyond!!! May the Force Be With YOU!!! Goodbye....


BYE!!!!! :P

JUST LIVE!

Well, it has been quite hectic recently. First off, I had not only one, but two A.P tests to take this week and let’s just say I am glad that I didn’t die of an anxiety attack. I cannot wait until this year is just over with! Then, I can just hang out on the lake with a good read and lots of classical rock and roll music. :D I am so happy and excited just for that!! I just want to live in the moment though. So, currently I am enjoying a stress free weekend and plan on reading Brave New World for my English teacher when I go back to school this week. Although, I got into a fight with this stupid person in a really idiotic class and I will have to face her on Monday I just have to be the bigger person and ignore her. OMGOSH!!! THREE MORE WEEKS UNTIL THE END OF THE SCHOOL YEAR!!!! YAYYAYAYAYYAYAY!!! I am going to try to write in here every week, let’s see how this will go…. Hahha


Just live life! :D

Glad to Be Me

Well, it has been quite awhile I know that. The last time I wrote anything in this blog, about a year ago, I was different then. Okay, well maybe not that different, but things have definitely changed. I have learned so many new things that I can’t even begin to write down. I went across seas, to the Netherlands a few weeks ago. Wow, was that an experience. Everything was so different and well just nicer. I loved it there and someday I know that I will return and tour the city on my own terms. Although, some of the time I enjoyed traveling the city and seeing the sights with the rest of my group the most fun I ever had was just wandering off by myself. I got to listen to the noises of the city and wander into European shops that were all foreign to me. I didn’t have to wait for my friends to finish buying souvenirs or have them wait for me because it was just me. I can’t wait until I get my education finished and my career on its feet so then I can just travel around the world by myself. I don’t have to be dragged down by a schedule or told how much time I have to see the city and I know that I will love that. I have learned how strong I am and how much I don’t need anyone else to be happy. I have grown to hate my new school and I cannot wait until this year is just over with. I am done with the annoying girls and their stupid purses that look like they can fit little Chihuahuas in them. I have learned how artsy I really am and for that I am glad to be me.

Dear World,
What is my life going to be like four years from now, 10 years from now? What does it look like?Will I make it in the world? Sometimes I feel so lost without a clue about what is my next move. Now that I have started a new school, I feel like I should have more people to lean towards when I feel lost, but yet I don't. At times, I sometimes think I want to be one of the popular girls with friends, but in reality they are not real or even nice. I don't want to be those girls Ever. I am going to do great things someday, I know it. I am a wonderful person who will eventually find where I belong.

Do You Think?

Do you think anybody knows this me writing these letters? Do people really know I even exist? Do I walk down my school hallways invisible? When I speak do people really listen?
Do they hear me ? I want to make a difference in this world. School is interesting. I like to think of it as a scientific experiment. I don't know what the outcome will be. I am unsure of the future just as unsure I am of what this week will bring. I like all of my teachers. I enter in the classrooms more mature and willing to learn then most of my other peers. At lunch, I sit with my friend and watch as people mill around the school. I wonder what they think and what they do. I see immature and crude students yelling obnoxious comments at passing students. I watch in wonder how they can just not even acknowledge school and their lives.
I look at students and wonder what their lives will be like after high school. I know what I want and how far I have to go to achieve it, but I don't know if I can do it. I am not yet confident in what I do. So far, I have enjoyed school. Today, unfortunately I got sick and am writing this with a head that feels like it might explode at any moment. I have joined four clubs which include the Drama Club, California Scholarship Federation, Reader's Club, and the Key Club.
The Key Club is an organization that offers community service activities and how to make an impact on the world today. Since I feel like I might explode or implode at any moment, I am signing off for today.

The Future

Well, the day has finally arrived and shortly I will be walking down the long hallways of a brand new school. I remember when the decision had been made that I would go to this school and I was genuinely excited, but now that the day has finally arrived I don't want to go. Nervous and scared jitters run up and down my body convincing my mind that I will fail. Although, this is completely without a doubt not even close to a truth, I still have this voice booming inside of my head convincing me otherwise. Somehow, I can't seem to get rid of this looming voice inside of me. On August 10th, I will walk down those halls feeling scared of the future ahead of me, hopefully in the years to come I will feel self-assured and hopeful for the bright future ahead of me. Today though, I have no idea what tomorrow will bring and am dreading the fast approaching doomsday.