Sunny Day

Hello world, you are looking quite sunny today! Reporting from southern California the sun glazes down on me shining my computer screen up with happiness and joy. :) Okay so I have tons of homework and seemly at this moment in my life, my world is falling apart, but at this particular moment I am happier than I can possibly be. Is it because I am near one of my best friends who is enjoying this study time with me or is because I am at the best spot in the library by a sunny window looking out over the baseball diamond? Either way it still makes me happy and I am glad that I can have the opportunity to get away from my family (in my own car might I add! :) for the rest of the day. Man, there are some weird people here. Some guy is looking at really gross pictures on the Internet, in the public library...yeah so this is awkward. I am basically just procrastinating writing three essays for World History. That should be FUN!! Okay so it is completely my fault that I even have to write them right now as we were assigned these essays two months ago. Oh well. What can I say? I am a whacked out teenager writing to you from a very whacked out place. I live in Camazotz filled with mindless people going through mindless activities that they have no interest in. Students surround me studying and working hard in subjects that they despise yet decided to take. Sure Math, Science, English, History are all required subjects, but if you truly despise 6th period Aquatics why the heck are you taking that class? This is completely an assumption, but MOST and I say MOST NOT ALL people glide through life not really thinking or caring about what they are doing. I love World History provided that I don't have a lot of work, but it doesn't mean that I still don't LOVE it. It makes me happy to come to class everyday seeing my crazily wonderful teacher jumping for joy. Teachers that really care about what they are doing and their students are the best teachers in the world. I love my teacher because of the way he makes every student no matter how good of student feel like they are great just being themselves. If we all died tomorrow (which I hope we don't) I hope that he would truly know how much of influence he has had on my life and my decisions this past year. Without him I don't know if I would even liked history let alone feel happy coming to class everyday, most importantly I won't feel like I belonged. These kind of people make me believe that there is still hope for humanity. Oh a much sadder note, I want to pray for everyone in Boston and across the world that are suffering for what happened today. Today during a marathon, two explosions went off in Boston killing and injuring many. Please pray for everyone affected by this tragic event. All we can do is push through the tough stuff in order to get to the shining light at the end of the tunnel. Take care everyone. I hope that everyone is having an amazing day that is filled with happiness.
There was a time my world was filled with darkness, but today it is all filled with sunshine.

STUPID PEOPLE NEED TO DIE

 
So it has definitely been awhile since I have posted anything. Nothing really new with me going on, I am still in high school which sucks and I am still working through life. I post things not so I get followers or even views, basically I just use this as my outlet to vent about my life. Do you like my picture? I thought it was very funny and good for the kind of mood I am in right now. Today is Saturday and basically I was supposed to work on homework and knowing me I was lazy and watched Youtube videos instead of actually doing anything. Fast forward four hours and my parents are super mad at me because I was actually supposed to get something done today. Opps. I don't even get why they care like I was actually going to do anything anyways. They are like, "You need to focus more on school!!" Yell...Yell..Yell.. and blah and blah. Yeah I kind of like to zone out in those kind of conversations. I know I suck, can I go back to my room to do nothing? Or and they like, "You need to stop focusing on yourself and stop being so spoiled!!" Okay first off I am a teenager, that is kind of all I think about and secondly aren't you the ones who spoiled me in the first place? Yeah, I know it is kind of mean, but seriously I just hate it the way they control my life. They tell me what to do and how I should do it. They had all of these great plans for me when I was born and think that when I somehow didn't turn out as smart or wonderful as they hoped those dreams disappeared. I am sorry for being the way I am, okay? The worst part is all of the idiots at school feel like it is "their duty" to friggin tell me who I should be. I told my English teacher that I couldn't do IB (a really hard course) because it would kill me and she told me that I actually could do it, but I am just a stresser. Okay, first off you don't know me so don't make assumptions about me. Next I NEVER friggin asked for your opinion!! Oh and my so my math teacher also assumes that I wanted to know that he believes that I have low confidence. That is so wonderful, I am so glad that you told me that... I know that I don't hate my parents, but sometimes they can just get on my case for no reason. Like earlier they were all like, "What is wrong?" Oh like suddenly I would friggin know what is wrong with me. I have no idea.. Honestly, I wished I did. Nothing especially bad happened to me in fact I am pretty sure I only talked to like one person besides my family members, but for no reason I felt like I was going to kill myself. I know that would never happen, but sometimes I can really sad. I wish for my life to be different, but I guess I just keep having a positive outlook on life or pretending that I do. My parents can't believe that I feel sorry for myself and they think that I am pathetic for sitting in my room wishing for a better life as I live a pretty good life. I am not complaining by any means. I have two loving parents, a roof over my head, a computer, expensive things, clothes, food on the table, a car, etc. For the most part I have everything that I have ever wanted, but there is still something missing. I want to go to a Third World country so that I can try to help people as that is what really makes me happy. I help people now, but I want to do so much more than just the simple things that I do around school and my community. More things to vent about? Hmm... people suck. Let's talk about the stupid people at my school who flip their hair and they they are the hottest people on the planet. Oh yeah, everyone LOVES those people. I live in the southern California area and people are so stupid. I was walking around my neighborhood, just spending a minute by myself and these little kids probably in middle school were just staring at me with their mouths open. I asked them if they had ever seen a person walk before and they just continued to talk among themselves wondering who I was. Okay so maybe I don't go out around my neighborhood much, but still it was almost like I wasn't even there. Like they were behind a glass window that I couldn't see or hear them through. Whatever, I just told them to buzz off. The sad part is that those same kids will go to high school and into life torturing people like me that friggin hate them. I don't hate kids, in fact I love babysitting and hanging out with little kids, but people can be especially stupid here. I hate it here and always have if you read my very first blog posts. Oh the worst part is all of the people that act like my friends are completely fake. Oh like they honestly mean that they like your outfit, that is cute. They only CARE ABOUT THEMSELVES!!! They want you to say that they look wonderful and how beautiful they are. They need YOU to make them feel like they are special. They don't actually care about you. I have had people flat out say they hate me, but somehow the fact that they pretend to like me is way worst that if they just go out and say it. Anyways I think I am pretty much out of things to vent about. I hope whoever is reading this has a wonderful day. :) Unless you are a stupid person from school, because then you can buzz off. More to come next time :)

Well, Yeah...

So, anyways I know that I haven't exactly been writing very much in here, but guess what? That is OKAY! Calm down people, anyway it isn't like anyone actually reads this thing, but I like that way. It makes me feel like I am all alone and like I belong. This is MY blog and I can feel free do whatever I wish in it! Yay, go crazy for me. I am on the road again, yep. Location this time is South Dakota. Yes, Mt. Rushmore here we come! So, here in South Dakota it is very different, okay well every place in the whole world is very different from well every other place in the world. I love my piece of the world, but I do enjoy every little piece I get to see more of. Besides the well-known attractions such as Mt. Rushmore, Crazy Horse, and some of the known caves there really isn't much to do in South Dakota. I do enjoy shopping around with my mom and hanging out with my family. It is fun to just be a kid again, you know what I mean? When you get to that age that you feel like you are growing up just to fast and you can't slow it down. It is like you are a roller coaster going the speed of light and no matter how long and loudly you scream there is no way that coaster is slowing down just for you. I HATE change I don't care what it is, but I hate change. Okay, yes changing your clothes is always a MUST, but changing locations, schools, getting a driver's license, getting married, boyfriends, first kisses, first dates, well let's just GO WITH EVERYTHING IN THE WHOLE WORLD scares me!!! Yes, there are a few exceptions like hmmmm. well I am going to make a list of things that I like or love.

The LIST of things that I like or LOVE:
1. Roller Coasters
2. Silverwood
3. Ice cream
4. Movies
5. Books
6. Really hot guys (hhaha, but yes.) :P
7. Computers
8. Minnie ( my car)
9. Collecting key chains for Minnie
10. My Dad
11. My Mom
12. My Cousin
13. My dog
14. My cat
15. My other cat
16. My horses
17. Ally ( my best friend)
18. T.V.
19. Time
20. My math teacher
21. My brother
22. Summer
23. Fall
24. Swimming
25. The WATER! :D :D
26. Writing
27. Going to the library
28. Listening to music!! LOVE LOVE LOVE!!! LOVE! LOVE.
29. Holland
30. Europe
31. Trains
32. Slides
33. My bed
34. Walking my dog
35. Walking in general
36. Shopping with my mom
37. Shopping in general
38. My pink shoes!
39. My lucky converse
40. Doing things scare me (kinda)
41. Las Vegas
42. Gambling on horse races
43. Canada
44. New York
45. San Diego pier
46. Seaport Village


Alright, I am going to go watch a movie now. I will continue my list later. :D

Your Actions Can Play a HUGE Role in Your Life

What if you were peer pressured to do everything in your life? What if you couldn't think for yourself and you had to follow the options and thoughts of everyone around you? Sure, you love everyone around you which is probably the reason you surround yourself with those particular people, but if you couldn't make your own decisions about anything EVER what do you think would happen to you? Well you wouldn't be a very interesting person. Most teenagers and kids nowadays feel peer pressured to do most things in their life, but eventually those kids grow out of what is happening to them now and they decide some point in life that they are going to make their own decisions and be independent. Of course, I am still a whacked out teenager, but things that have happened to me and probably will happen in my life have made me think more carefully about the things I do and how my actions can affect other people around me. Sure, I am a negative person who is just as whacked out as any other teenager out there, but I don't want to be peer pressured as much as any other kid out there. I try everyday of my life to not follow the crowd and actually be an individual. I used to be basically in love with this guy, but he didn't know it and I thought the world revolved around him. Looking back at myself I was stupid, but again I was just being myself and a teenager. I am so glad that after spending half of my high school year cooing over him that I found out who and what he truly was. Which like most teenage guys out there a cheese head. He was a jerk and yet after all of the time I spent thinking that I was in love with him and basically watching his every move I only found out who he truly was by my friend. My friend although not one of my good friends, pointed out something really important to me that I had come to overlook in this guy because somehow I had already made up my mind that he was perfect. Alright, so I have been watching all of these movies about teenagers getting pregnant and having children. Of course, I am not pregnant nor will I probably ever be in my teenage years, but it got me to think about all of the kids out there that are peer pressured into having sex and then getting pregnant. I just want to talk about this issue today because more and more younger children are engaging in sexual activities and the world and adults choose to turn their backs and pretend that nothing is happening. Of course, it is a little awkward discussing this with you and although you may not see me as your friend I am and you can confide in me. You, whoever is reading this, I don't care who you are but you are my friend and I want you to trust me. You don't need sex or some stupid guy that only wants sex in your life. You want to be independent, you want to be a individual and recognized? Do something meaningful with your life and don't throw it away over just some guy. Sure, you may be "in love" with him and think that having sex is the only way to show how much you care about this guy, but trust me you don't need to have sex in order to prove to him, yourself, or the whole world that you are in love. Just being around him and in love can prove to him and yourself that you are in love with him as well as the whole world. If this guy only wants to stay with you because he thinks that he is going to have sex with you someday, do the smart thing and break up with him! It is better than giving in to some guy and having sex then having a baby and he leaving you. Okay, you may be careful about what you doing and think why should I listen to some whacked out teenager online? She is just like me and has feelings too and how don't I know that she is having sex after she is done writing this entry? Let me tell you first off I am not even dating someone, but not only that I don't want to have sex yet. I know that I am not ready to take such a big step in a different life and I know that I am not like that. Even if you think you are being careful and taking the necessary  precautions you could very well get pregnant. Do you understand how much that could change your life? Oh hang on guys it could change your lives too not just the girls. If you do decide to stick around you guys then you have HUGE responsibilities to think of. If you are thinking of," Well, I have big responsibilities now taking care of my sick puppy." or whatever you can think of.  Two words. THINK AGAIN. First off, you would have to stay with the mother no matter even if you realize down the road that you don't truly love her. You still have to stay with her no matter what. Not only that your life will get insane. So many options, abortion, having the baby, adoption, keeping the baby. Everything will be changed forever. I just think I wanted to write something about this after seeing the film Mom at Sixteen. Not only are movies and T.V. shows a big part of what teenagers, kids, and people do today and I think that we need to put down the T.V. remote and realize that we need to think for ourselves instead of following the lead of other people whether they be your best friends, role models, or just people on T.V. You need to think about what your actions could bring before you act. Well, on that note I hope you will start to think differently about what you do in your life. Good luck and please remember that I am always here for you. Just one key stroke away. :) 

WHAT ARE YOU DOING READING THE TITLE.... READ THE POST DUMBY!!!

Hello,
So, it seems like I haven't kept to my promise about entering in something for you to read every week. Oh, well. What are you going to do? Anyway, I haven't really been up to much lately. I went back to my hometown to stay with my dad and cousin. So, I was on the road again for awhile last week. It seemed like I didn't have control over my whole life so I decided to prove to myself that I could be independent by doing something that I could do for myself and prove to myself that I am in control of me. So, I have always wanted to be skinny than the weight I am. Which is none of your bussiness by the way. Never ask a lady what her weight is. Didn't your parents teach you any manners. Anyway, back to the subject at hand so, I decided to go on diet. I have always hated running or any sort of physical activity so, I decided that going on a diet would be the best solution. So, I looked over the book and thought, "Hey, this can't be that hard. All I have to do is eat and not eat anything that I am not supposed to eat." WRONG! Okay, so yes it is basically what I said above, but when your dad bakes muffins and all of this really delicious food what are you supposed to do? I am not a quiter and will NOT give in to temptations, but I couldn't help thinking while sitting on the couch watching America's Got Talent listening to every sound and crunch of the squeezy, gooey Cinnamon rolls that maybe just maybe I was missing something really good that could have been mine in seconds. Then I look through Teen Vogue and Seventeen and realize that I want to be one of those skinny, glamourous girls smiling in the photos. So, yes I would NEVER be part of the crowd and would never want to be skinny just because everyone else was or just because I wanted to look somewhat like some of the girls that wander the halls of my high school with their arms wrapped around some cheesehead guy drooling over them. NEVER! So, yes reading back over that I sound a wee bit childish, but really I don't want to be those idiot girls. Honestly, if we are speaking honestly here. Seriously if you are one of those girls reading this right now it is STILL a free country you are more than welcome to leave. Hey, you were more than welcome to leave three paragraphs ago. So, honestly speaking I don't even think those girls want to be where they are right. Being a girl myself I think that no girl would ever reach that ultimate low and just be arm candy for some dumb guy. And no I am not a "guy hater" I am actually quite the sucker for love. I do watch romantic movies and hope to myself that someday some magical guy will come around and just be there for me watching my favorite movies over and over again. Then, reality hits and I realize that that guy doesn't exist in this realm and probably never will so, move on and just write out all of your feelings in this mindless blog that no one even reads. Sure hey I don't ask for people to read this, but honestly it gives me some sort of comfort knowing that people are actually reading this and knowing that some whacked out teenage girl who has nothing better to do than write weird junk in a blog is out there. So for you guys that are turned on by someone independent free spirted and must I admit beautiful whacked out girl yes, I am here. Hahha.. Wow.... I actually wrote hahah to myself or whoever you are. And no I am not telling you where I am right now and what color my shirt is that I am wearing. Okay, back to the subject at hand well actually is there ever really a subject I discuss in this blog? No, not really... Maybe I should... No, scratch that I would actually have to think before writing in here. Hmm.... well did I have ever tell you why I don't want to drive? Okay, well before you judge I actually I am a good driver and I don't run over anything unless you are some freaking dude on the side of road. Just kidding. Maybe... Anyway, I don't want to drive because probably somewhere deep inside me I feel like I could be responsible for whatever happened out there. Okay, so honestly I don't think I would probably crash my car and kill myself and whoever is with me, but I am scared that maybe I could. I am working on not being so scared anymore. Yes, I know it is hard to believe, but yes even I am scared of a lot of things. I don't know why, what is seriously the worst that could happen? Oh, besides dying and lossing everything. Well, the reason I won't drive still remains a mystery, because come closer I am going to tell you a secret.....I DON'T EVEN KNOW!!! Yes, it is true even the great and fantastic whacked out teenager ( Maybe I should rename my blog that) doesn't even know the answer that question. Oh, well guess it will remain one of life's biggest mysteries that and where Big Foot is. Hahah. Nope, I can't be serious. Don't hate, Don't do drugs, Don't smoke, of course drink when life sucks, but DO LOVE! Hahha, just kidding about that drinking one please don't drink if you are under..........99. For those of you under 99 don't do it!!! I warn you all if you do it I will find you!!! Hhaha. Just live life, you only die once. Unless... you are a cat, dog, zombie, vampire, or anything other sort of weird supernatural thing out there and beyond!!! May the Force Be With YOU!!! Goodbye....


BYE!!!!! :P

JUST LIVE!

Well, it has been quite hectic recently. First off, I had not only one, but two A.P tests to take this week and let’s just say I am glad that I didn’t die of an anxiety attack. I cannot wait until this year is just over with! Then, I can just hang out on the lake with a good read and lots of classical rock and roll music. :D I am so happy and excited just for that!! I just want to live in the moment though. So, currently I am enjoying a stress free weekend and plan on reading Brave New World for my English teacher when I go back to school this week. Although, I got into a fight with this stupid person in a really idiotic class and I will have to face her on Monday I just have to be the bigger person and ignore her. OMGOSH!!! THREE MORE WEEKS UNTIL THE END OF THE SCHOOL YEAR!!!! YAYYAYAYAYYAYAY!!! I am going to try to write in here every week, let’s see how this will go…. Hahha


Just live life! :D

Glad to Be Me

Well, it has been quite awhile I know that. The last time I wrote anything in this blog, about a year ago, I was different then. Okay, well maybe not that different, but things have definitely changed. I have learned so many new things that I can’t even begin to write down. I went across seas, to the Netherlands a few weeks ago. Wow, was that an experience. Everything was so different and well just nicer. I loved it there and someday I know that I will return and tour the city on my own terms. Although, some of the time I enjoyed traveling the city and seeing the sights with the rest of my group the most fun I ever had was just wandering off by myself. I got to listen to the noises of the city and wander into European shops that were all foreign to me. I didn’t have to wait for my friends to finish buying souvenirs or have them wait for me because it was just me. I can’t wait until I get my education finished and my career on its feet so then I can just travel around the world by myself. I don’t have to be dragged down by a schedule or told how much time I have to see the city and I know that I will love that. I have learned how strong I am and how much I don’t need anyone else to be happy. I have grown to hate my new school and I cannot wait until this year is just over with. I am done with the annoying girls and their stupid purses that look like they can fit little Chihuahuas in them. I have learned how artsy I really am and for that I am glad to be me.